Joan Stephanie Kroeger Kenney

There are many characteristics that aptly describe my mother, Joan -- or JSK as her husband affectionately called her.  Here are only a few, in no particular order:

  - She was smart, curious about many topics, and a life-long learner.  She went to college at a time when many young women did not do so -- working to pay for classes while also contributing to her family's depressed finances.  Later in life she acquired so much medical knowledge that a medical school friend of mine referred to her as "your mother, the doctor."  She and my Dad went on a couple of Elder Hostel trips, and on one took such varied couses as music appreciation, analysis of the play "Death of a Salesman," and a discusson of the the environment of the Georgia coast and sea islands.  Until the last few years, she stayed on top of current events, regularly watching "Washington Week in Review" and reading the paper from front to back.  She was always eager to hear about and discuss my work -- both the legal and policy implications of it.

  - She had an incredible eye for style -- color, pattern and decoration.  My mother put a room together like no one else!  Not only would she fill it to the brim with stuff -- furniture and objects handed down from both sides of the family, things she collected at her consignment shops -- but she added bold colors and patterns few would dare combine.  There is a special richness and vibrancy to the living  room and her bedrooms at "119" that envelopes you the moment you walk in.  For decades, those rooms were always evolving, as she painted, papered, and redecorated to heart's desire.

  - Her sense of style carried over to her person.  She was beautiful young woman as the photos on the memory boards that Joyce put together reflect.  As Kristen aptly put it: "I didn't know Grandma was such a babe!"  We all remember her best from the very recent past, when she was not up to making a fuss over how she looked.  But before that, throughout her 70's and 80's, she retained a flair for looking good -- pulling together outfits that showed off her wonderful white hair to its fullest advantage.

  - She brought her discerning eye to Dad's art work, and her input was the first that he always sought.  He would come home with a painting, prop it up against the nearest piece of furniture for her to look at and practically hold his breath waiting for her judgment.  Fortunately for him, she was his biggest fan, and any criticism was generally minor and usually very constructive.

  - She was an equal partner in her marriage.  Although Dad -- ECK to her JSK -- was the breadwinner and she the stay-at-home-mom, traditional roles ended there.  They respected one another as equals, sought out each other's opinions, discussed everything, made all major decisions together, and shared finances (except for Mom's small social security retirement check which she kept in a seperate account and which she teased Dad by calling "her" money as opposed the joint account which was "their" money).  Dad, a morning person, used to bring her coffee every morning at 6 when he got up for work, and she, very much a night owl, would later moan that he always wanted to talk philosophy or morality or some other deep topic at that ungodly hour.  Of course, she always willingly participated.

  - She had a good sense of humor up until the end.  Numerous people at the nursing home told me how funny my Mom was.  On one occasion as I was helping her from the chair to the bed, I managed to step on her foot -- her quick rejoinder: "Mary, I would rather stand on my own feet if you don't mind."

  - She was strong-willed, stubborn at times, and very determined.  Oh, yes, she could be stubborn.  It was enough to drive you mad.  More important though was her determination.  When she set her mind to something, she carried it out.  And she set her mind to making a good marriage and providing the best home she possibly could for her husband, her children, and three of my grandparents who lived with us at various times.  And I am not talking about cooking and cleaning -- she hated both and did them only under loud protest and because they were necessary chores.  Come 5 pm, I remember her saying "Do I have to feed all you people again tonight?"  No, I am talking about love, support, encouragement, and being there for each of us when we needed her the most.

  - My mom was an incredibly generous, loyal, and loving person.  I lived outside of Baltimore for close to 30 years and was the lucky recipient of a regular stream of letters from Mom, almost all of which I still have.  In re-reading them this past week, I was struck by the love reflected in them -- towards me primarily, but also towards my father, my siblings, her father who was still alive during our early correspondence, her friends, and in later letters, her children-in-law and grandchildren.  It was only in the past couple of years that Mom finally -- after so many decades -- retired from the job that she took so seriously and into which she poured her whole being: that of a homemaker at 119 Hawthorne Ave.

  - We all miss you JSK: your family, your old friends, and your special new friends, Adama and Liesel.  You will always be in our hearts.